V&M Love and Lust Series: Do You Lose Yourself in Love?

So we’ve tackled the 5 Love Languages and Self-Pleasure, now let’s tackle what happens personality-wise when you’re dating.

I know all too well many women who have changed their personalities because of dating a new guy. And I don’t mean trying a new activity or opening themselves up to new experiences. I mean COMPLETELY changing, how they act, dress or even communicate with the friends that they have.

Now this is a phenomenon that I know exists in many women, and I”m sure men exhibit this behavior too. You know one day Keisha is all “I hate men, they are evil whore-mongers who only think of themselves”–OK that was extreme but you get my point. Then she meets a guy and totally transforms into this docile creature and basically has no time for her friends, every second of her day is filled with him.

Why is this? Honestly I think I can sum it up in one short phrase: SELF-ESTEEM. Point blank.

To me its sort of like a person is ALL about their friends when they don’t have anyone special at the moment, but time they get a little bit of attention its HOLLA to the girls/guys and HELLO to the new boo. And that’s most unfortunate because its never actually guaranteed that the new “boo” is going to even work out. So why risk alienating your friends for a quick fix? Just doesn’t make sense to me. I guess the risk of losing their new love interest is far greater than the friendships they have possibly built throughout the years.

Now I know that when you first meet someone its easy to fall into that trap of wanting to spend time with that person frequently. But you have to realize that you still need your space and he/she needs their space as well. Your life shouldn’t be wrapped all up into another person’s. The big lesson is to learn how to prioritize your relationships.

A person should compliment your qualities, not define them. I’ll let that marinate.

So–have you known people who have exhibited these qualities? Did you say something to them about it, or just blew it off? Or have you, yourself fallen prey to this sort of behavior. I’d love to hear from you!

I am…Sasha Two Pistols

Ok blog world, I know Mac T and myself have been slacking on all fronts. But I have finally sat my arse down to write something. And sense Ms. Bey came out with her Sasha Fierce album this week, which of course was a huge influence on my name, I thought I would pay tribute to that.

As I sat wondering what the hell I was gonna talk about, it hit me like a ton of bricks: the whole idea of existing in this world with two different personas. Now this might be already something common for my fellow Geminis out there, but for the rest of the world, it can be a new thing.

Ms. Bey claims that Beyonce is the shy, demure, boring persona that is the real her off the stage and outside of the world tours. Sasha Fierce is her feisty, sexually aggressive, hot mama side–the one I’m sure Jay Z hopes she brings home each night. But in our everyday lives, do we often play these roles?

Do you find yourself being one way if you’re single and then once you get boo’d up you become a different person? Say if you’re Plain Jane Librarian, but you get a taste of the “D” you become Adina Howard, Jr. Or you could be the opposite, extra wild while you’re single and then become quite demure when you get a significant other.

Now for myself, since my name is Sasha Two Pistols, I guess I need to share my own personas. I’m a generally shy person by nature, but there is an inner freak in me that does come out in the right situations. So I guess I can admit that yes, I have two different personas. Now while mine aren’t as prevalent as Bey’s Sasha Fierce, it is slowly being opened and pretty soon SASHA TWO PISTOLS will take over the world baby! Ha, ok just had to get on my own jock for a second.

But honestly, this can be a good thing, playing the feisty role for that specific person. But if you let being “two different personas” take over your life then I’ma need for you to seek help. But until then, have fun with it!

What is your take on this? Do you find yourself switching personas or do you {claim to} keep it the same no matter what?

Holla at ya girl!