Death by Text Message
They are dying. Everywhere your turn, they are dying – in the office, in the club, on the streets and in your home. And you murdered them. Some have met their maker before they even began. What am I talking about? I speak of the ever elusive and increasingly defunct ideas of relationship and communication. And each and every one of us are choosing our respective poisons be it text message, picture message or the dreaded multi-media message. I Googled ‘letter writing help’ and received 21,500,000 results. I Googled ‘text messaging help’ and received 138,000,000 results. Tragic. I curse the Apple I-Phone and the Blackberry Storm. Why you might ask? They are enablers. I think there are four main areas where this new fangled ‘communication’ is going to jack us all. Let me explain:
Language Arts
Letter writing and verbal communication are on life-support. What the fish sticks is LOL? Or even worse LMAO? Or even worser ROFLMAO? I’ve never uttered the phrase laughing-out-loud in my life. But I’ve typed it Lawd knows how many times. And people actually understand what I mean. And if you don’t understand, Lingo 2 Word apparently has you covered. I’ve received some horrific emails and held some uncomfortable conversations recently, and I attribute them all to peoples’ lack of, well, people skills and vocabulary.
Swagger-Guise
Geeks and weirdos magically become Don Juans via sms messages. They don’t need a shot of Patron to garner some self-confidence. Naw, ‘cause good ole sms is gonna bail them out. They hop up out the beeeed, turn their phone on took a look at the screen and text ‘what’s up’. Since when did sending a picture message of Ronald McDonald smashing Wendy become cool? If you watched this sh!t on your computer at home, people would likely check The National Sex Offender Registry for your name. I ask, why are you forwarding it to all the people in your address book, including your super/director/boss and/or mama? But, it’s via text, so instead you’re one of the ‘cool’ kids? In sms world, someone can send a “What’s up for the weekend”, and they can send it without abandonment. Because if you don’t receive a response it’s simply lost in the text message black hole and he or she is still as cool as ever – unscathed by the silence on the other end of an ACTUAL phone call.
Time Frames
What is your full given name? Who the fudge is Carlos from [insert location here]? Or Nikki from last night? And let’s answer an even better question. Why are they text messaging me about their plans for the weekend? Because you have my number and know I can receive text messages does NOT make us ‘text buddies’. If we just met yesterday, a ‘can I touch your booty’ over text is no less offensive than a ‘can I touch your booty’ whispered in my ear. Nicca, YOU DON’T KNOW ME!
Context Clues and Sh!t
I’m sure somewhere *shaking my head* someone has sent you a text message where the context clues of a personal conversation could have saved you some heartache and/or embarrassment. See, when you use a rich form of communication you can pickup on subtle nuances like vocal inflection, facial expressions, body language and attentiveness. In a text message, ‘Will you marry me?’ *condescending* looks and feels the same as ‘Will you marry me?’ *sincere* – leaving you second-guessing your pending nuptuals. And that is NOT okay.
I’ve decided that if I haven’t known you longer than a month, we ain’t text messaging all our communication(s). And if you don’t like that, you can KMA! TTYL!
Tags: communication, dating, relationship, text message hell
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April 10, 2009 at 9:12 am
HAHA, OMG gurl u r so silly rite now. But I do luv dis blog. *using my best text shortcuts*
On the real, however, I feel you that text messaging has indeed taken over the most basic form of communicating: TALKING. And I mean actually hearing the other person’s voice over the phone or in person. And you know its bad when they have stories about the texting phenomenon on Good Morning America, CBS Morning show, CNN–you name it!
And I must admit, I’m a texting fool. But mostly at work, honestly I can’t have the phone to my ear all day, but I also like to actually talk….I mean some conversations are a bit hard to text no matter how fast you type or how many word shortcuts you use.
When I first started texting I REFUSED to use the shortcuts like (2=too, to, two) (y=why) you know things like that, I mean being a journalism major I was used to SPELLING OUT WORDS. But sadly I have fallen into the trap a bit, although my messages are still a big long….as this post is…HAHA.
But alas, my POINT is (finally :-p) that too many people are relying on texting “What’s up tonight” other than calling and saying “Hey do you have any plans later”. Honestly people (MEN) its a simple gesture, I promise. And definitely if our whole getting to know each other/relationship STARTS off with you just texting ALL THE TIME, then that’s a problem.
Ok, gurl I’ll TTYL. ROFLMAO! SMDH! :-p
April 14, 2009 at 10:22 pm
Exactly 2Pistols! If dude had called me to get to know me instead of text messaging me to death, he’d know I don’t bullshit around and wouldn’t be surprised when I, oh I don’t know. was MYSELF. Geez! I enjoy sexy late night convo. I enjoy hearing someone’s voice. And granted, hearing the beep beep beep that signifies a new text on my phone is gratifying, but so is choppin’ it up with a nig I vibe with on some level.
April 12, 2009 at 9:34 pm
Aaah…the text – the crutch of the lame, socially awkward, and passive aggressive. As you mentioned, the text allows for guys to do “grenade” hollers after first getting a number, lobbing a text out there and hoping for a hit – lessening the rejection and awkward getting to know you convo. There’s a certain etiquette that goes into texting I usually abide by: If its not an emergency or something quick, I’ll just call.
However, I am a fan of the drunk text, which I have patented in numerous feeble attempts at 3am bootycalls.
Me: “Heeey. You wnt som cmpany?” BTW, the truncated words were not to save characters but the result of a four- Manhattan night…
Oh, and check out this song about texting…its a jam.
April 14, 2009 at 10:28 pm
MacT, I’m excluding drunk texts, as long as they aren’t to exes, here. I’m a fan of those. Anything that is going to propogate a late-night heavy petting session is okay with DD. And nothing is more blatant than a “u still up?” at 1:30 in the morning.
*Notice, I’m a lady. I send my texts a lil’ earlier than you.
April 16, 2009 at 12:16 pm
HAHA, yeah well we can exclude drunk texts. I agree. Cause I know I’ve sent/received many a 1am and after *u still up* or *where r u*…and acted on them. DON’T JUDGE ME! (c) MacTone. :-p
April 13, 2009 at 12:44 am
I have to admit. I am a texting fool. I mean I would rather text than talk and its because its more convenient and I can make whatever I have to say short and sweet and to the point. I have a crackberry and it is glued to my fingers at all times. I can’t seem to get rid of it no matter how hard I try! UGH!! As for the lingo.. it has been around for the longest time. It came from the days of AIM, and Yahoo chat and all the other mediums we used to chat with one another. The conversion is that they made i portable to talk to a person without literally talking to them. What I can’t stand is when people us alpha numeric messages to talk…
like writing bayb33 instead of baby. I mean seriously why is all of needed? How in the world does that spell baby.. it has numbers! (sorry I digressed)
Cool post, I know what it is to misread a text message. We all do, but that’s when you pick up the phone and ask what in the french toast did you mean by that text! it straightens everything out!
April 14, 2009 at 10:31 pm
Liryc, I’ll be joining the bb ranks soon, I’m due for an upgrade, and I’m thinking about getting that fi ass Storm. Yeah, that’s right. DON’T JUDGE ME! So maybe we can all setup a bb chat session. One of those and we’ll be best text friends.
PS ~ I’m a text message fiend too. But I just don’t think you can forge a relationship on “What you up tos?” and “How was your weekend?” via text.
April 16, 2009 at 12:19 pm
Yeah I must agree that i’m a text message fiend to…to my friends. Who I also TALK with voice to voice or face to face on many ocassions. But if I’m just getting to know someone, I prefer phone convo first….cause I needs to hear the inflection in a voice to see if a nicca/hef is lying or just bullshitting. *LOL* But girl my crackberry is glued to me at all times too girl! I hear that!
Oh, and thanks for stoppin by! tell yo friends..or *text* your friends! I kid, I kid. :-p
September 8, 2009 at 4:23 pm
Hey! Thanks for stopping my blog Nappturology 101 and glad you found some information that you could use.
Your visit prompted me to check out your little space on the Internet and ran across them gem of a post. We are sooooo on the same page with this. I am really sick and tired of trying to socialize with people who can’t go two seconds without checking their dang phones for text messages, or being interupted by beeps that prompt them to check their dang phones. Or being in the middle of a conversation with someone who has to respond to a text message.
What in the HELL is so important these days that people cannot put their damn phones away for a few hours.
Whenever me and my 14-year-old neice are together, she is not allowed to have her phone on. She tried that mess about her mother has to reach her, well, then I told her, her mama (my sis) could just call my phone. We’re supposed to be bonding and she’s constantly texting her friends while we’re together. Nope…I’m not having.
Not with grown people either. When I’m socializing with friends, I ask them to turn their phones OFF.
This crap is getting tooo incredibly rude, and I’m sick of dealing with it.
Dang!
September 29, 2009 at 4:16 pm
@Nappyme—”Hi, My name is Sasha Two Pistols, and I’m a text-a-holic”…lol! I am, but honestly sometimes I get home and just don’t want to hear any noise coming from my phone. While texting is great, it can be a bit of an annoyance sometimes. Like when I’m out with my friends at a restaurant, I try NOT to text or do anything on my phone b/c its not often that we all get together. But of course when you look around the table what do you see: plates, glasses, utensils, napkins, CELL PHONES. I mean everyone has their phone sitting next to their dinnerware like its part of the fork setup, lmao. Hilarious!
So unfortunately, it has taken over our lives, but I do think a textesta (text+siesta) is in order sometimes just to free your mind and concentrate on other things.