Hos in Different Area Codes/A Pimp Named…Jason?
I went to http://www.stuffwhitepeoplelike.com fully expecting Boondocks to be one of the entries on the site. Well, I was slightly dissatisfied to discover that it is excluded from this comprehensive list of all that is “white”. But, it doesn’t make me doubt the fact that white people love the show. And I’m not white, in case you were wondering, but I also enjoy both seasons one and two of the show and am well-versed on its stories, timelines and characters. In season 1, the audience is introduced to a peculiar character known as A Pimp Named Slickback, whose role is played by Mac T in reality. But, do not be deceived by his name, “A Pimp Named Slickback”, and be led to believe he is in the business of wHOlsale goods and services, even though he is. Or that he wears pimp-wear, which he does. Or that he will slap the taste out of a dishonest and triflin’ broad, even though I’ve witnessed him do that. But the main misconception you might have about his character is that he’s only driven by his chosen career and not an intellectually stimulating individual. A Pimp Named Slickback could engage in a philosophical conversation about life or walk you through his theories on b!tc^ dependency and the usage of the word b!tc^. He is a savvy businessman and knows exactly what he wants – for his b’s to have his money.
Well, this brings me to another entry that should be on http://www.stuffwhitepeoplelike.com, The Bachelor. And yes, I did watch every episode of this season, but it’s a guilty pleasure, and I don’t have to explain myself to you! DON’T JUDGE ME! But, this season proved to be very interesting. This season, The Bachelor’s name was Jason Mesnick. Jason, like our pimp super hero from the Boondocks, is a businessman with crazy swag. He is meticulously styled and is an intellectual-type. And not unlike A Pimp Named Slickback, Jason is a mutherfuc%!n’ pimp. This man, this father, this pimp is the epitome of what Luda was referencing with “It’s the abominable-ho man, globetrot international post man, neighborhood dick dope me”. He ran through 25 seemingly intelligent women during the show’s cycle and he was not picky in doing it. He had red-heads, blondes, brunettes and even a few Latinas on his jock all while managing to be a likeable guy. Not convinced that I’ve dubbed him properly yet? Due to his likeability factor, I thought you might need further proof. Dictionary.com defines pimp as one who procures women for the gratification of others’ lusts. Well, if money and gossip are valid lusts then I think he qualifies. Still not convinced? His reach stretched from Arizona, Pennsylvania, Connecticut, Canada, Texas and Wisconsin. And if that doesn’t convince you, check this out!
It’s undeniable right? After a hot rendezvous or several and a few “overnight dates”, Jason chooses Melissa, a sweet Texan with an infectious personality. But as most pimps need to refresh their top broads frequently, so did “A Pimp Named Jason.” He unceremoniously dismisses Melissa, on national television and immediately lays his pimp hand down strong on Molly. So Jason, as you get down on one knee to propose to Deanna, Melissa AND Molly, I dub thee, Jason, Prince Pimp of ABC Primetime.
So, my questions to V&M…
When did they legalize pimpin’ and why can’t we get enough of it?
Is this legitimate? Can you find true love by straight pimpin’ for 8 weeks?
Is he parentally irresponsible for involving his son, Tai, in the process?
Could you go on a show like this or the Flavor of Loves and the I Love Ray J’s to find love knowing that he or she is potentially bumping uglies with 25 other people?
Damn, pimpin’ just got easy.
Tags: A Pimp Name Slickback, Boondocks, Jason Mesnick, pimpin', Sex, Swagger, The Bachelor
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March 6, 2009 at 3:44 am
i suspect that the women on the Bachelor were blinded by their competitiveness to the point that they don’t realize what a tool they are competing for
March 10, 2009 at 9:02 am
I think that’s any show: The Bachelor, Flavor of Love, For the Love of Ray J, Rock Bus (or whatever that Bret Michaels show is called). I mean do you really wanna compete for a man who has been slobbing down your other 24 roommates? Come on now, if this were “real life” none of those hefers would be having that mess. But because its “on TV” it’s romantic? Please! Give me a breaaaaaak!
March 17, 2009 at 9:47 pm
I don’t know, I kinda disagree. When we get all gussied up to go out, it’s for the attention of men right? And we will jockey and fight for the attention of a guy who has caught our eyes. Maybe there is a competitive element to finding a mate that is showcased by shows like this.
March 18, 2009 at 10:05 am
You’re right DD. But I guess what’s superficial about the show in general is the fact that these women actually think they are “friends”. I mean in real life, you would not be befriending the female who is ALSO trying to get up on your man. Real talk! And then they wanna act mad, when they feel the other girl has disrespected them, excuse me this is a COMPETITION, its not called “Be My BFF”, its called The Bachelor or For the Love of Ray J–your main goal is to GET THE MAN, not make BFFs–I’m sure you have plenty back home. LOL.
March 9, 2009 at 10:02 pm
Stop the presses! Stop the m’fn presses! You’re trying to defame my good name with such a nasty word as “pimp”. I prefer “gentleman of leisure”, “troubadour”, or even “gadabout”. Really DD, I find two problems with your post. One, that “pimping” in the modern day lexicon, is rather misleading. We all know that serious pimps are those who manage prostitutes and prey on the vulnerable, and let it be known that Mac Tone does not condone this behavior on any level. I prefer my call girls high priced and discreet – GFE only! With “pimping” being glamorized and thrown around loosely in mainstream media, the meaning has come to connote one who enjoys the company of several women. However, any guy who broadcasts himself as a “pimp” is unequivocally a cornball…discretion is key.
The second is that at the root of the matter is that almost every guy’s fantasy, and even goal in life is to have a number of different women. This is fueled by ego and nature, which is too much to go into here. But know that men seek to amass material possessions, money, better physiques and wardrobes to gain the attention of women. History teaches us that this is nothing new. The Pharaohs of Egypt held lions in great reverence and patterned their lives after them. In the lion kingdom, the female lion does all the hunting, looks after the cubs, and doesn’t even eat until the male lion has had his fill. But yet, the male lion rarely has to assert his authority – it’s known that he’s the King of the Jungle. So when you see Pharaohs chillin on the walls of the Great Pyramids surrounded by women, it’s no accident. Plus with the way women operate, sometimes they won’t make a move unless a man has been “qualified” by other women. Why do you think some women are attracted to married men, chase after the captain of the football team, or won’t give a guy the time of day at the club unless he’s gained the approval of her friends? I’m not saying any of this is right…it just is.
Secondly, that Bachelor shit is not real life. Half of those broads just want to be on TV and probably wouldn’t give dude a second look if he was on the street. Let dude have his fun…everybody’s got a lookin for love show. Watch out for “The Blackchelor”, starring Mac Tone…coming soon.
March 9, 2009 at 10:17 pm
*lol* Mac T you are retarded. I mean aside from your monologue, I can see your point. But I don’t understand why you’re trashing these girls for going on The Bachelor type shows, but you didn’t say anything about the men. Double standard? I think so. While, I don’t personally agree with these shows-cause I think we all know those fools aren’t “in love”. They just trying to get some ass. I do have to say though, they have coined a new way of “pimping”.I mean hell Ray J is even gettin in on this mess.
Overall, “pimpin” has changed. And while I only agree with 1% of what Mac T said–he does make a good point that a real pimp doesn’t have to announce it.
March 17, 2009 at 10:44 pm
Mac T, thanks for the insightful response. But, I have no problem with the meaning and usage of words changing. Webster’s is not a static thing. It is constantly changing and being modified because our language is constantly changing and modifying. And yes the original usage of the word is someone who exploits individuals for money. But in today’s society it can mean a nice pair of shoes or car. Words change and definitions grow. And I’m not talking about the self-professed pimps out there. I’ve followed the show and haven’t seen any signs of Jason referring to himself as a pimp.
But, if you do go on the “Blackchelor,” please believe I will put you on blast for big pimpin’.