Well before today I had two different ideas to write about but then I learned of some disturbing news about two very high profile people that I just didn’t know. I mean I feel like the last idiot on earth who didn’t know it, so it really just messed up my whole evening, not to mention that I would have never guessed this information about these individuals.

So I got to thinking and a myriad of topics invaded my mind, but one that stood out was cheating. I wanted to tackle the reasoning why people do it, how they spend the energy and time to cover it up, and what happens when they get caught.

Now being the no-nonsense person I strive to be, that’s one of the things that will definitely end a relationship for me. Because cheating violates trust, and once you have destroyed my trust, there’s no getting it back. Honestly, I would never be able to trust you anymore. I might sound bitter, but I haven’t been cheated on to my knowledge. It could have happened, but if so I had no clue, so I’ll just speak from the fact that I never had this happen to me.

So let’s delve into why people cheat. Is it from boredom, I mean do you need an extracurricular activity to keep you feeling “good” about yourself. Clearly this is not the “ride” you need, because I don’t know how you can feel good about deceiving, lying and falsifying just about every aspect of your being. Are you mad at your gf/bf? Did they say something to you to make you storm the house/apt/condo in a fit of rage, with uncontrollable emotions? WORKOUT! Go sit in a dark corner and think, write, meditate, PRAY, do some yoga…..I mean cheating is not going to solve the problems you have. It’s clearly going to make it worse. Is your gf/bf/wife/husband holding out on the nookie?—while that doesn’t require one to cheat, it’s never really good to do that, especially if its your spouse. I mean that can drive people to look for the nook nook elsewhere, but its still wrong to do.

Now let’s talk about the time and energy spent covering it up. I mean unless you live in a thriving metropolis, which even then everyone still knows everyone, you might be able to get away with living a double life. But even with that scenario you have to break it down even further into dating relationships and married ones. And this is obviously for only one reason: in most dating relationships the couple does not live together, so there in lies the ace in the hole. You can have someone over and the other person not know it, unless they find their unmentionables under the bed. For married couples, it could get a little tricky in that you live with your significant other. But I guess that’s where the hotel, motel, Holiday Inn comes into play.

So you had a fight with your boo, stormed out the house and went down the local bar to “clear your head”. [By the way, not a good look to mix high emotions with liquor, I'm just saying]. A cutie walks up, nice looking, nothing spectacular, but you don’t mind a kind ear (so you think, but clearly this person knows the game too). You get to talking about your problems and they tell you “I understand, I’ve been there”. Riiiiiiiiight! But your dumb ass soaks it up like a sponge and meanwhile this person is keeping the good stuff in your glass, after glass, after glass. You go back to the hotel with them, to talk some more and get some advice on what to do, you know since he/she has been there before. And of course you know the rest.

You then get on some Diane Lane “Unfaithful” tip and start sneaking around, meeting up here and there, all the while almost slipping up each time. Well the day finally comes when your boo/gf/bf/husband/wife catches on to your weird behavior from the past few days, weeks, months or hell even years! What happens next, do you fess up and say “I”m sorry”…….ugh sorry does not cut it right now.

Do you expect to be forgiven? I always wonder if when somebody is caught, if they go “So, yeah I did it. And what? You shouldn’t have denied me my pootie tang and we wouldn’t be in this situation right now.” I just know somebody has said something to that effect before…

I write all this to ask: why? Have you ever cheated on someone and not gotten caught? Or did you get your ass busted once the person found out? Also, if you have cheated, what was the reason–or was it one of those, I got drunk and passed out moments? And for those of you who have been violated emotionally, how did you deal?